A Letter to Every Woman Who’s Tired but Still Tries
This morning, I saw her.
Or maybe… I saw you.
After months, I took the metro again during office hours. Among the packed crowd, my eyes met a woman trying not to cry — but the tears betrayed her.
On the phone, she whispered:
“I’m being tortured at work. I have offers… but I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do.”
And just like that, the silence of that coach was filled with shared exhaustion. So many faces… tired, worn out, and quietly breaking.
I couldn’t help but wonder — Why do we keep showing up at jobs that are quietly breaking us?
😔 Why Do Women Stay in Toxic Jobs?
Because we’ve been raised to endure.
Because we’ve been taught that quitting means weakness.
Because as women, we don’t just do jobs — we carry homes, emotions, expectations, and the weight of being strong.
As a career coach, I’ve sat with hundreds of women across all age groups, and I hear the same questions echoing in different forms:
🧠 “Why Can’t I Leave, Even When I Want To?”
💼 1. Your work has become your identity.
You’ve built so much around this job that leaving feels like you’re losing a part of yourself — even if it’s destroying you.
🕳️ 2. Fear of the unknown.
“What if the next place is worse?”
So, you stay in survival mode, tiptoeing around toxic dynamics.
⏳ 3. Hoping for change.
“One more month…” you say.
But months become years. Hope becomes a trap.
🚧 4. You don’t know how to set boundaries.
We were never taught to say “No” without guilt. So we give, and give, and give — till we’re empty.
🎭 5. You’re wearing the ‘strong woman’ mask at home too.
After work, you switch roles to caregiver, cook, counselor — but who’s there when you collapse?
🛑 First of All — Stop Blaming Yourself
You’re not weak.
You’re not lazy.
You’re just tired — from doing too much, for too long, without a pause.
This isn’t about lack of resilience.
It’s about reclaiming your power.
Let’s fix what the system never taught us — how to stand up for yourself with clarity, calm, and courage.
💡 Career Coach’s Survival Guide: How to Get Unstuck Without Burning Bridges
✍️ 1. Start With Clarity — Not With Resignation
Write this down before any decision:
-
What exactly is hurting me here?
-
What have I tried to fix it?
-
What do I want next?
Clarity comes before courage. Writing brings it faster than venting.
🛑 2. Set Mini-Boundaries at Work (Even in a Toxic Space)
Say it aloud:
“I deserve to protect my energy.”
-
Stop replying to after-hour messages.
-
Push back — kindly — on unrealistic expectations.
-
Don’t skip lunch just to please anyone.
-
Take your mental space seriously.
Even small boundaries are acts of self-respect.
🧭 3. Don’t Wait for a Breakdown to Walk Out
If you have another offer, ask yourself:
“Am I staying here for growth… or out of fear?”
Leave not in rebellion — but in alignment. Walk away with your dignity, not your wounds.
🧘♀️ 4. Strengthen the Emotional Core
Yes, cry.
Then, journal.
Then, talk.
-
Book that therapy session.
-
Speak to a career coach who gets you.
-
Call a friend who listens without judgement.
Your emotions are your truth, not your weakness.
💼 5. Use Job Offers as Power Tools
An offer isn’t just a ticket out.
It’s leverage.
Use it to:
-
Negotiate changes if you want to stay.
-
Or leave for a role that aligns with your worth — not just pays better.
🌱 “What If I Can’t Quit Yet?”
Totally valid.
Not everyone can resign overnight. So:
-
Create a 30-day mental exit plan.
-
Upskill — one course, one podcast, one networking message at a time.
-
Rewrite your CV.
-
Guard your peace fiercely — even if the job doesn’t change.
❤️ From One Woman to Another
If you’re crying in the metro, in the bathroom stall, or in the middle of Zoom calls — you’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re at your breakthrough.
And next time those tears come, let it be because you’ve finally chosen yourself.
Not because you’re stuck — but because you’re stepping out.
Because you deserve more.
Because you are more.
🗣️ Tell me in the comments:
What’s the one thing you wish your workplace truly understood about you?